Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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