Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
