We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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