so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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