im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
