Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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