Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
