So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize