i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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