there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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