Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
