When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
