No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
