Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Im part way to drunk.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
