Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
