I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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