I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
