I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
