why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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