dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I see more hoeing in ur future
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