had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
