I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
