A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
