The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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