There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i believe in u and ur pee
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
