They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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