Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
