I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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