Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
