Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
