I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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