new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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