she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
