Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
