Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
