Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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