You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
