Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
