she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
