I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
