I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
