elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
