Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
