Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
