i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
