i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
