I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
