Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
