Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
