we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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