We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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