I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
