he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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