I just saw a hot homeless man
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
